I’m A Ninja

Apparently I’m a ninja.

As I was walking out the door on Wednesday night for church Ethan stopped me and said, “Dad, remember you are a ninja.” To say that this made me smile is an understatement.

I know what you are thinking.

You probably just said, “Michael, your not a ninja.”

To combat that I’ve come up with a list of reasons why I am a ninja.

  • Stealth mode-I have the uncanny ability to get out of bed and not wake up April.  Thus making my way to the kitchen so that I can eat all the Little Debbie’s at 3 AM.
  • Super-sonic fingers-If Ethan or anyone else is out of line, all I have to do is snap my fingers and brings them to a screeching halt.
  • Master of Disguise-Some may think it’s laziness that I don’t shave my face all the time.  But in all actuality it’s because ninjas have to be able to blend in with their environment.
  • Secret Weapon Training-I love coffee.  But I do drink extra sometimes for coffee breath.  Coffee breath is every true ninja’s secret weapon.  Just one breath and my enemies are done for.
  • Super Strength-No not my arms.   My toes.  I can pick up heavy objects with them.  In fact, some are quite impressed by this.
  • Ninja Stars-Now I know that the movies have made the “star” a popular weapon.  But a true ninja can improvise.  I can pick up  nearly any house-hold object and throw it with accuracy.  It may be some TP or even the remote.  Regardless, it’s way more powerful than any ninja star you see on television.

After examining all the facts, I’m convinced that I really am a ninja.

In what ways are you a ninja?

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